All this leaves you in a difficult place. Don’t feel you need to forgive this abuser she doesn’t even want to own up to the misery she caused. That’s OK, because my feeling is that forgiveness is something that requires a recognition of the harm done on the part of the wrongdoer. Good for her that God has forgiven her! But in the temporal realm, she has a lot of apologizing to do, though apologizing doesn’t sound like something that’s in her bag of tricks. Should I keep pushing her and her mom, so that I can retain my other relationships, or should I simply cut my losses?Ī: Do you have to move back? Unless there is an absolutely compelling reason, I think you should not be living in your hometown, where you inevitably will be running into your stepmother. The girl says I can’t decide these things or punish her, since her parents approve of her new identity. Her mom disagrees, and as a result, we are banned from family events, and I have lost friends. My family and most of my friends are rather conservative, though, and I would like my stepdaughter to at least put on a dress when we see them, and also refrain from mentioning things about her politics and sexuality. We are an accepting family, and we know several gay people. She has cut her hair short, prefers listening to abrasive music, and has made friends with other “LGBTQ,” or whatever the current acronym is. My wife and I are moderate liberals, while my stepdaughter is now a left-wing lesbian. I have been with her mother since 2013, and the girl has radically changed her whole identity. Disrespectful Teenage Daughter: My stepdaughter is 14 years old, and has demonstrated problematic behavior toward me recently, in my opinion. But should I be more direct? Which is worse, thinking your father has kiddie porn or knowing that you just saw a 14-year-old version of your mother naked? I didn’t directly tell him that the pictures were of me, but assured him that his father didn’t look at or keep teenage porn and that I would speak to him about it. My son came to me really worried with the concern that his father was potentially hoarding teenage porn. The problem is that the pictures are nude shots! You can’t really tell that the pictures are of me, as my appearance has changed pretty dramatically since I was 14-hair color change, weight difference, boobs, etc. The pictures were in an old shoebox filled with baseball cards and other adolescent memories. The Naked Truth: My 14-year-old son recently came across some Polaroid pictures of me that his father took of me back when we were 14-we have been together for a long time and got married when I was pregnant with my son. ( Sign up here to get Dear Prudence delivered to your inbox each week. An edited transcript of the chat is below. Emily Yoffe, aka Dear Prudence, is online weekly to chat live with readers.

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